Friday, October 4, 2013

7 reasons why you should argue in your relationship




1) Argument makes your partner to understand the other (negative) side of your emotions properly

2) Arguments would keep you and your spouse educated and informed.

3) Arguments can be fun if understood properly and will always create a long lasting bond.

Continue after the break.

4) Arguments will always leave a memorable moment in your house than words spoken softly.

5) Argument will always give you joy when you come out as a winner.

6) Argument would always make you and your wife to be on the same level or platform i.e making you both equals.

7) Argument would make you know more about your partner’s level of understanding and wisdom which is crucial in relationship as this will enable both parties to have less problems.

Before I drop my pen on this note, I’ll like to quickly expose some tips that would enable you have a memorable and positive argument in your relationship which won’t escalate into other issues the argument is not meant to bring up. The 10 things you should avoid or never do in an argument are;
1) Focus on the topic of the argument and don’t deviate.

2) Do not bring up past issues. If you have anything of the past you still wish to know more about, simply request for the presence of your partner for discussion on it. So please, try to avoid bringing up issues of the past.

3) Keep in mind it’s for fun and not for fight.

4) Keep another topic for another day to be resolved.

5) Avoid pointing fingers and also avoid harsh words.

6) Use words like we and not you. Whenever you use the word you for your partner, you are separating yourself from him or her, but in the real sense, you both are one and not two. So accusing your partner is accusing yourself.

7) Watch each other’s back. People may want to intrude, but do not let anyone be your judge. Do not let your partner be judged wrongly in your presence, neither judge your wife wrongly in others presence. So watch each others back and tell any intruder to back-off no matter their relationship with you.

Always try to point out areas where you think you are wrong and not where your partner is wrong. Don’t ever tell your partner that he/she is wrong, but rather, you think the situation she is supporting is wrong. Telling your partner he or she is wrong is passing judgement on him or her. You can not be the jury, the judge and the lawyer at the same time.

9) Don’t leave issue unresolved. If you ever wish to leave the argument, accept defeat by accepting that your partner is right.

10) If your partner changes the topic, tell him to get back to the topic. If he or she does not want to go back to the topic, the new topic should be treated another day. But if he insist, just listen to him,, but don’t ever walk away from your partner’s presence; it’s an insult, show some respect.

11) If married.,Don’t ever separate yourself from the same bed after an argument at night. Just calm your nerves.

12)Acknowledge who was right at the end, though it may be very difficult to do. If this is achieved, the argument actually ended as a game and with fun but not fight. Argument should always end in checkmate but it most often ends in stalemate.

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