I've heard it before... It's the 21st century! Gender roles don't exist anymore! Women can play the role of men! Bla, bla, bla. But don't forget that while our mothers and our grandmothers didn't have the opportunities we have today, they did have something going for them - They well understood their role! And no, not in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. I mean, humble, meek, strong, not pushy, passive, yet passionate.
Hence, when any Nigerian woman sees an attractive man, she should hold back from approaching him. She is the crown jewel. The man should come and seek his prize! But just incase this is not good enough reason for you, here are 5 more!
1. What if he's CRAZY? DERANGED??
Let's say you see this hottie across the way. He's got the entire package: heightened stature, darkened complexion, toned physique. Whew! You decide to quit with the BS! 'I'm a good catch too!' you think to yourself. He needs a woman like me in his life. So you step to him. He is humbled when you speak first. He
laughs it off and seems almost embarassed by your action. When you ask him for the digits, he rattles them off. You walk away because that's the only thing left to do. You call, he answers. You go out, he's cool. Then, one day, you find out he has baby momma drama, a reposessed car, a foreclosed home, plus, he's just plain CRAZY!
Now, look back. Don't you wish you hadn't said a mumbling word?
2. Let a man be a man!
I know that's difficult sometimes. Because, for one, men don't always know how to be men (can I get an AMEN!). But that's okay. You need to let them learn. Don't be their mother. Don't attempt to teach them. And check this: if he's the right kind of man. I'm talkin about the man you need, then guess what? He's already got his mind's gears grinding up a way to snag you girl! He's just patiently seeking the right opportunity.
3. It definitely makes YOU look desperate.
Sorry. But in my years of existence I have never seen a woman approach a man and not seem like one of these 3 things:
Aggressive
Pushy
Desperate
Maybe you've got the testicular fortitude of a Samantha Jones. Now she could pull it off. But if your goal is not to wind up doing the horizontal hokey pokey at the end of the night, then you're not Sam at all. You're probably more of a Miranda Hobbs. An eternal feminist who, at the end of the day, still wants and needs love just like the rest of us. So, know your role, and leave the aggression to the men.
4. So, are you the man now?
I just want to know, if you made the first move, and you're satisfied with it, are you now going to lead him around for the rest of the relationship? Will you pick him up for the first date? Doubt it. Are you ready to pick up the tab for the evening? Pull out his chair, etc. Forgive the facetiousness, but I seriously doubt it. You will soon grow tired of taking the lead and making the decisions. But hell, you've already set the precedent. Gotta be consistent, right? Is that not what we want from them?
5. Is he that into you?
Ladies, if you made the decision for the man, to place yourself in his life, how do you know if he is even interested? He may be down for the ride initially, but what will really come from you having initiated the courtship? You may feel confident and sure of yourself, but at this point, he certainly isn't. You know that men can easily become insecure when their man hood is threatened. And easily confused when you take away what they are most certain of. Furthermore, if he was not interested in approaching you, then let him stay that way. Is it really worthwhile to force him into feeling you?
Do feel free to disagree with me in your comments but ladies and gentlemen, for women that are seriously considering a relationship with the gentleman they meet, never ask him out unless all you want is just to flirt.
Please comment and discuss. I'm really interested to hear your responses!
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